11 Signs That You Are Healing Emotionally

Emotional abusers try to undermine their victim’s sense of self-control, self-worth, and agency, effectuating control in non-physical ways.

 Lisa Ferentz, a licensed clinical social worker and educator, said during an interview: 

“Unlike physical or sexual abuse, there is a subtlety to emotional abuse. It’s a lot more confusing to victims, as it typically is couched in behaviors that can initially be perceived as ‘caring.’”

When emotional abuse is ongoing and severe, a victim may lose their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single bruise or mark.

The abuser could be your parent, business partner, or caretaker. They could be your spouse or another romantic partner. 

Signs Of Emotional Abuse In Marriages And Relationships:

Codependence

Abusers may do this by:

• consistently neglecting your own needs for the sake of theirs;
• thinking you deserve this treatment;
• making you feel guilty when you stand up for yourself;
• defending your abuser when others point out what’s happening;
• biting your tongue and repressing your feelings to keep the peace.

Isolation & Emotional Neglect

Abusers may do this by:

• indifference – they see you hurt and do nothing;
• demand respect;
• interrupt;
• calling you needy;
• actively working to turn others against you;
• they won’t touch you, not even to hold your hand;
• they’ll tell family members that you don’t want to see them;
• keeping you from socializing;
• they’ll stare at something else when they speak to you;
• they’ll ignore your attempts at conversation by text, in person, or by phone.

Accusing & Denial

Abusers may do this by:

• they might crack your cell phone screen, then deny it;
• they accuse you of cheating on them;
• whatever’s wrong in their life is all your fault;
• saying you have no sense of humor;
• they say they are the helpless victim and you are the one who has anger;
• when you complain about their attacks, they will deny it;
• they know just how to upset you;
• they will deny that an agreement or even an argument took place;
• they say you cause their rage by being such a pain.

Control

Abusers may do this by:

• they may tell you that “everybody” thinks you’re crazy;
• they may tell you that they’ll take the kids and disappear;
• they’ll explode with rage out of nowhere;
• they may say they don’t know how to do something;
• they tell you what to wear;
• direct orders that are expected to be followed;
• belaboring your errors with a long monologue;
• they might keep bank accounts in their name only;
• they might check your internet history, texts, emails, and call log;
• they want to know where you are all the time.

Criticizing & Humiliation 

Abusers may do this by:

• they might tell you that your hobby is a childish waste of time;
• they’ll blatantly call you stupid;
• your abuser might tell you that your achievements mean nothing;
• your abuser may insult your appearance;
• you tell them about something that is important to you, and they say it’s nothing;
• they make fun of your shortcomings in public;
• they make you feel small and inconsequential.

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11 Signs That You Are Healing Emotionally

So what is it that makes emotionally balanced people different from others? Do you count yourself as one of them? Here are the top 11 signs that you are healing emotionally:

#1 You Appreciate The Little Things

Nothing is greater than being outside and hearing a few birds chirp or hearing your favorite song come on the radio. The little things are what contentment is composed of, and you recognize that.

#2 You Find Yourself Smiling When You’re Alone

If you want to see how you really feel about something, start noticing your physical expressions when nobody’s there to watch you.

#3 You Finally Understand Why You Made The Mistakes You Did

In the past, you spent so much time dwelling over every single mistake you made. An indication that you are healing emotionally is that you finally understand why you made those choices, and you have learned from them.

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#4 You Want Your Work To Be Meaningful

Sure, opportunities for advancement might be appealing, however, you are not going to do work that you hate if you don’t have to.

#5 You Have A Sense Of Mastery

You have a belief that you have the knowledge or skills to do what you need and would probably enjoy doing so.

#6 You Know How To Express Gratitude

Being thankful for what you have is the key to inner peace and happiness. According to studies, people who know how to express gratitude are able to cope with stress in a better way and have more positive emotions. 

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#7 You Practice Mindfulness

The great thing about mindfulness is that it blocks distractions that try to derail you from your goals and dreams. Positive and emotionally balanced people make the daily choice of surrendering their feelings or thoughts to the moment.

#8 You Are No Longer Afraid Of Being Alone

The thought of being alone used to terrify you. In the present day, you are comfortable with being your own best friend.

#9 You Have A Healthy Relationship In Your Life

You now have one or two beautiful, unconditional friendships or other relationships in your life. This makes you more fortunate than you even realize. 

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#10 You Spend Time In Nature

Nature is symbolic of life and takes away all the tensions and worries which we have in this world for a while. You would never realize how much sheer happiness this one can bring you.

Whether it’s the sunset that gives you the endearing hope of rising again or the twilight that gives way to darkness; the early morning when the dew drops glisten in the rays of sunlight; or the rainy season when the leaves are all drippy droopy – you appreciate the time in nature more every day.

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#11 You Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Spill your coffee? Just miss the train? It doesn’t matter. If not obsessing over minor annoyances and focusing on what’s important are your priorities, it may be a clear sign that you’re healing emotionally.

Images credit – @Getty Images

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References

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2723854/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5324294/